Catherine Oxenberg

Catherine Oxenberg
Anecdotes, insights and resources relevant to anyone interested in exploring the mystery of life and death.

Friday, April 1, 2011

What is the point of this blog!

My dear friend Inga asked me why I was writing a blog, “What’s the point?!” Suddenly, I felt myself up against the wall, panic-stricken, scrambling to justify my cyberspace soapbox.
Do I look like some desperate, attention-seeking Malibu housewife?!

Yikes! How embarrassing! I mustered all the dignity that I could find.
“Of course I have a point!”

Three years ago, I was approached by a literary agent, to write a memoir. The idea of dredging through my past didn’t thrill me at first, but I decided I would give it a try. I did have some pretty good stories: how Prince Andrew proposed to me on the balcony at Buckingham Palace the night of Princess Diana’s wedding, how my mother was a princess, how Richard Burton had been my mentor, how the Kennedys’ thought I was their cousin, why I had married infamous producer Robert Evans for a week (I have to table that one until he drops off the perch), how I recovered from an eating disorder, recovered from childhood sexual abuse, recovered from infidelity (there was a lot of recovering!) blah, blah, blah…

In all, I came up with 42 chapters. I was told no one would tolerate a memoir of that length. So, I began to chop the rich and multi-faceted smorgasbord of my life into 12 tapas-sized morsels.

The final feedback was that the stories were great but there was no through-line. “What did that mean?” I exploded, “It’s my life! Are you telling me that you can’t find ‘me’ within the context of my stories?” I walked away, completely flummoxed and tossed my ghostly life into a dusty drawer.

A month ago, another friend of mine, amazing healer Chris Maher, suggested that I start a blog. “You have so much to say, you have a voice and there is an audience out there.” I was very flattered by his confidence in me. If it would be a way to make a contribution - that intrigued me. But then I felt my stomach lurch, I felt an immediate surge of resistance. Not surprising, since the outcome of my last writing assignment - Was I setting myself up for another line-up of rotten tomatoes?
And precisely because it brought up so much fear, I decided to listen to Chris. I decided to confront that fear head-on.

Now that is the superficial explanation. There is also a deeper motivation, an almost primal urge that revealed itself-
I am a creative being - and although my children are my proudest creations, my soul cannot be sustained by a diet of 2nd grade book reports! (I had to do 10 until Celeste got the hang of it)

As soon as I committed to the blog, I began to get in touch with a flow of creativity that unleashed inside me. It is a veritable deluge of ideas. It is overwhelming, and hard to shut down when I want to go to sleep. I am driving my husband insane as I continually turn on the light to jot down notes by my bedside.

I realized that I had been in denial of how much I needed an outlet, a place to express myself. Chris was right - I have a voice, a story, a point of view, and there is something so profoundly cathartic about sharing that with others. It is a way for me to connect, to reach out, to feel part of the human community in a way I never knew I needed.

I have no expectation that anyone will find me out there, no guarantee that anyone will resonate, no attachment to any outcome. This blogging becomes an act of faith.

I realized that I can no longer sit around and wait to be hired to have an outlet. I need a continual outlet or the energy inside me stagnates and I become restless and irritable, eat too much sugar, obsess over sagging and eventually become ill! – All no longer an option!

So, the bottom line is: I MUST write or I will suffocate!

And because I am a woman, I will write about everything from my favorite new shoes that don’t cripple me after 30 minutes to a yummy guilt-free recipe that my daughter India has invented, to ways to become a better mother and more fulfilled human being, to improving quality of life, to developing deeper more meaningful and loving relationships, to greater intimacy with the Divine. And anything else that tickles my fancy!

And there you have it. That is the whole point!

Of course, the real truth is that everyone needs a creative outlet!

Hey! Inga! You paint! I scribble!


  1. Blogging is an amazing way to express yourself and to work through things that are on your mind and in your heart. It's a wonderful way to connect with others who have gone through similar life experiences and to draw support, encouragement and friendship with others. And you know, no one ever needs to explain why they blog or what the purpose of the blog is -- to blog is to share to explore and to express. It's an art form. Glad I found yours!

  2. I Love your Blogs sweetheart. You are beyond beautiful. Pure Joy! Love! So much fun to read. I love that you are sharing your gift with everyone.

  3. This is amazing.

    This is your blog and your stage.

    Let us join you and support you on a journey that can only be rewarding.

    Welcome to the world, because without you in it, there would be one less ray of sunshine.


  4. Look forward to reading the postings. :) Best wishes.

  5. thank you so much for your comments! Your support (except for my husband who supports me in everything!) is more than i ever expected!
    Please join me!

  6. You are correct! Everybody does need a creative outlet. Thanks for sharing yours. :-))

  7. I can't wait to read it. Keep blogging.

  8. Beautifully written and magical blog - congratulations. As for the 'through line' - I think they mean there has to be a theme or message that brings all your stories together into one cohesive whole. Stories and anecdotes carry greater weight and mean more to us (the reader) if they are connected to a meaningful theme or awareness - message or point of view. The book can then be built around this theme or message(s) and each anecdote or story can support the message(s) of your book. Just a few thoughts for you - all blessings, Christiane ~

  9. I think your story is an important one for reasons those publisher couldn't ever imagine with their closed minds. I love "I have an Idea" so many of us have them and never do anything with them, you did something with yours and BRAVO! to you for shouting out with such love, light and truth to all who have eyes to read and ears to hear. I look forward to reading so much more. Please take a pass at all my blogs on my MySpace profile and you will understand why I love yours.

  10. I am really enjoying your blog Catherine! Thank you :-)

  11. Good for you Catherine! As we grow it is important
    To let others share in our experience, our discovery,
    And our creative wisdom. It is a wonderful thing
    To reach out, speak your truth and become connected
    With like-minded beings. Own your power and trust
    The rest will come. AND it could be FUN!!!!! Corinna xo

  12. Many people will be honored to hear your story and your voice. I think it's very important for you to share for several reasons, but for one main reason which is you are living such a blessed lovely life and I feel you can be such an example of wisdom to many people who have big dreams and aspirations. Through understanding more about you and your story people have such an opportunity to be inspired. As we all know most of our stories aren't perfect and we are all growing, and that is the beauty of sharing. Gaining strength through someone else's breakthrough. You are such an authentic beautiful women. I'm excited for you!! xo Kerry

  13. Dear Catherine, your blogging is nourishment to my unknown yearning of something I am seeking, but have not yet found. You feed my soul....You are this beautiful woman, married to a gorgeous man,living in LA and appear to have a perfect life, perfect husband and perfect children, and yet you are a REAL person,just like me; except you have the guts to do something about releasing the "suffocating grip" that can make life so mundane. I love being your audience and hearing your voice.Don't stop blogging. You mean so much more to the readers than may ever know. God bless you. Much love xx

  14. Again, thank you so much! Everybody's comments are SO eloquent and deeply thoughtful and kind. I am enjoying reading your comments as much as I am writing the blog! The Interactive nature of this blogging is building a spiral of loving reciprocity! And i can feel it building! xxx

  15. Dear Catherine,
    like only a few blogs that I know, your words really seem to open a window to a meaningful character with a lot of deeply substantial thoughts and personal stories to tell. All the best to you and your family.
    Wishing you blessing, love and joy.

  16. Thank you for sharing yourself. I personally find it so refreshing when anyone is open and giving of themselves, especially when there's no other reason except a real passion to reach out and feel a connection with fellow human beings. You have something real, worthwhile, and valuable to convey and you seem like a lovely person. I too find writing cathartic and find myself better able to express myself through writing than through speaking. While I think your memoir would be entralling to read(loved Melissa Gilbert's), this is a good way for you to test the waters. You never know what roads you may take in the future, but for now it's wonderful you have this blog and I for one am grateful for your time and thoughtfulness. I look forward to reading more. Keep taking that leap! Good luck to you and peace and happiness to you and your beautiful family. Victoria

  17. So very proud of you!! I am laughing as I can hear your voice through your writing!!

  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

  19. Best wishes from Germany from a Great Fan from Denver Clan Times.the Most beautyful Woman ive ever Seen,really